¡Hagase Tu Voluntad, Señor!

Your will be done Lord, that is what I am learning to say with more and more fervor and less fear. Especially now that this past Friday, I officially joined the Asociación de Fieles del Fiat, the lay movement here. ¨Fiat¨ being the ¨yes¨ that Mary gave to the Lord when the angel told her she would concieve the Son of God, we strive to imitate this same profound ¨yes¨ to ¨la voluntad¨, will of God, no matter what it may be. Even if it means leaving this place I love, I strive to give that complete and trusting ¨yes¨ to the Lord. Well, it´s a work in progress :)

I do want to apologize if I came off a bit strong in my last post. Actually, I don´t apologize if it got your attention, I do apologize because it was lacking in hope. You see, for all of the physical needs of this base, these children, I had forgotten our primary mission. Above providing medical care, education and nutrition to these children, we must first be striving to get them to Heaven, meaning, to learn to know and love the Lord. Yes, the Gospel says we must feed the hungry and cloth the naked, but Jesus also said that the primary comandment was to love one another. And so, I have rediscovered what I truly wanted to do here - love these children so profoundly, meaning with that love that Christ brings, that it reaches down into their little hearts and stays. As Pope Benedict XVI says in Deus Caritas Est,

¨Seeing with the eyes of Christ, I can give to others much more than their outward necessities; I can give them the look of love which they crave.¨

And that is my mission. I can´t believe that I forgot this simple thing, as it is demonstrated to me by the misioñeras every single day, in every patient reprimand, in every hug, in every look of love that they give these children for whom they care for.

So now, as my days really and truly are numbered, I look to pour out as much love on these children and on these misioñeras as possible so that in ten years, when they might no longer remember me, they will remember that someone loved them with a different type of love and hopefully, for this memory, they will live their lives or even just make one small decision for the better. As Mariya says, let´s not hope they remember us, let´s hope they remember the Jesus in us. That´s the goal and that´s why I´m here. More than this, of course, I will continually seek to provide for them materially as well because action always follows true sentiment, but I have hope once more that maybe I just did do something for them in my short time here and that same something I can continue to do, even if it is from a million miles away.

I hope to have one more post from the flipside, I am currently waiting for my mom´s flight to arrive as she is coming just in time to visit me here and meet the people I love. I am so glad to be able to share it with her and am going to try to show her everything I can in the short time she is here. Mostly though, I hope she experiences the love I have received from these people. And I hope to be able to write to you all about it in the week to come. With that said, I´m off and running, but as always, you have my prayers and I hope I may still count on yours, if not for me, for this beloved people.

The Labourers are Few

Hello all. I hope this finds you all doing well and defrosting up on the northern continent. We ourselves are quite warm, and according to Jim, experiencing the heat of ¨La Niña.¨ As for this little missionary, I´m livin´ it up and loving what I have realized to be the best job in the world (thanks Rya). I have only a week or so left with the people I love so intensely and so I am trying to take advantage of every moment and finish up a thousand little projects that will hopefully help them just a little.

I will admit, I have been a bit frustrated lately with my inability to really help this foundation with what it needs. Even if I stayed, I couldn´t be the experienced and fluent-speaking social worker that they need (or really, need about 5 of), I couldn´t be the psychologist they need, and I can´t be the family that every one of these children so desperately need. I don´t even have enough money to pay for someone to be that for them. All I can do is buy them the occasional clean water and fresh fruit, I can only give them hugs and hope that someday this world might wake up to the reality that my little brothers and sisters suffer every day. And even this little bit is coming to an end as I am being called back to the States, back to a life that I simply don´t want. I don´t want hot showers, I don´t want a comfy bed, I don´t want to pay 3.50 a gallon for gas or buy new clothes so I can look ¨professional¨ for grad school. In fact, the thought of all that money makes me sick. And I just don´t understand.

I was watching Hotel Rwanda the other day, about the massacre of the Tutsi people back in the ´90s in Africa. At one point in the movie, the main character Paul says to a reporter that he is glad he is here because now the world will see what is going on and will come to help. And the reporter replies that no, the world will see what is going on, comment on how sad it is, and keep eating their dinner. And he was right, no one came to help, at least not until it was too late, and over a million people died. I don´t want to be this pessimistic about this world I live in but when I watch this foundation fight day to day to give these children bread, eggs, clean water - and no one comes to help us. I have been writing to you all for six months now and a few of you have made your way to the foundation´s website and made a donation - and I thank you, I really do. But today I am not asking for another donation. In fact, if you are only going to make a donation and then forget about us, please don´t bother. What I seek is a change of heart, I seek for help to wake this sleeping world to the harsh reality that is life for the majority of the 6 billion on this planet, I seek long term change. I myself have decided for this change, I don´t know yet how I will accomplish it but I pray that the Lord might bless my feeble efforts. In Matthew 9 He tells us:

¨Jesus made a tour through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and curing all kinds of disease and all kinds of illness. And when he saw the crowds he felt sorry for them because they were harassed and dejected, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, 'The harvest is rich but the labourers are few, so ask the Lord of the harvest to send out labourers to his harvest.'¨

I rest in this promise that the Lord will send more labourers, that He will not let these people languish like this forever, that He will continue to bless them with a joy that still inspires me daily. But I ask you too - what are you doing to help them? I ask you to think about that the next time you ¨need¨ a new pair of shoes or crank the AC up because 80deg. is just ¨so hot.¨ Please, search your hearts and help me find a way to help my little ones here, help me help the misioneras who have given their lives to working for these children. And not just here, if this mission doesn´t speak to you find one that does. Hundreds of millions of children are starving, are without clean water, are without families. Will no one help them?

Right now, I close so that I can get back to them, give them one more hug and maybe start a tickle fight that will help a few little girls forget for a little bit that their mom can´t take care of them. And as always, I remain faithful in my prayers for you all, until next time with more from the flipside...